The Duality of Woman

At the end of August in 2023, I got a message from Maggie Butera, a graphic design student at SCAD who loves photography. She reached out to me to let me know of a personal project she had been working on for a while that was finally coming to fruition. She told me how she was seeking Christians to work on this project and how "the simple goal of this shoot is to spread truth with love." I was so thrilled that she had reached out to me. I prayed to God for confirmation of whether I should accept or deny this project, and the peace I felt was enough confirmation for me.

Maggie prefaced this project by telling me how touchy this project is. She told me how this would be a photoshoot centered around the story of Chloe Cole. I had watched Chloe's interview with Jordan Peterson in the past so I knew of her story. She had begun taking cross-sex hormones at the age of 13, she had a double mastectomy at the age of 15, and she de-transitioned at age 16. Her story is both a story of utter sadness at well as courage and perseverance. She was sold the lie that she was born in the wrong body and she was meant to be a boy.

Maggie wanted to highlight the different aspects of what it means to be a woman and what being female looks like. Chloe, like me, was a tomboy as a child, which probably was the root of why people thought she should have been a boy. Hearing her story made me so grateful that no one sold me these lies as a child. I was the youngest with two big brothers who were the coolest to me. They weren't scared of anything (accept the downstairs at night, in which they would send me down to get the the things they needed because they were scared something was going to get them), they were tough, they were good at baseball, and they always protected me (accept when they would ask me to watch scary movies with them because they couldn't watch it alone, which is when 6-year-old me got to protect them).

I wanted to be just like them. When I told me oldest brother, who was a baseball catcher, that I wanted to be a catcher on my softball team, he took me in the back yard, put me in all the too-big catcher's gear, and threw baseballs at me as hard as he could to make sure I was getting into. They had no fear. I was their little sister, but they only knew how to be brothers, so they were hard on me. There was always fighting, but there was always love. When they would grow out of their clothes, my mom would give them to me. I didn't wear them to school, but I wore them at home. I'm sure for a few years of my life, I definitely looked like a little boy, but no one ever said anything like that to me. No one fed me that lie. I thank God for that, because I remember how impressionable I was and I still remember some of the things I wish people wouldn't have said to me, because of how much their words stayed with me. I can only imagine what it would have been like to be told them I may have been born in the wrong body and that any discomfort I had with growing up could be solved by cutting off my breasts and taking testosterone.

When we got to Savannah to start the 2023 fall quarter, we met up, along with my roommate who was also involved in this project, and we got to work. I admired how dedicated and prepared Maggie was and I saw how much this meant to her. Before long, it was time for the shoot. I had the pleasure of spending a whole day with Chloe, whom I now consider a friend. She is funny, lighthearted, and so creative. She's so natural in front of the camera. It was so fun to see her strike her poses. Unfortunately, Chloe is one of many kids who have fallen into the trap of the lie told by the transgender community. Chloe was made in God's image by His wonderful design, and so is every other child born into this world. It breaks my heart to know that these beautiful children are trapped into thinking this is the only way to cure their heartaches.

The first set of photos is meant to highlight the "feminine" aspect of women, which is just the stereotypical version of women and girls we're all expected to see. There's nothing wrong with this version of women. I feel like this some of the time, but I'm not ultra-girly all of the time, and I'm still a woman. That's the beautiful part of being a woman: you can look like more than one adjective. You can fit into more than one box.

The second set of photos is meant to highlight the other side of being a woman, which can look more "masculine." I come from a long line of tough, hardheaded, strong, stubborn women, and sometimes, people might take that as "manly" or "masculine," but that doesn't change the fact that I am a woman. I was born a woman and I will always be a woman. We are all born into the right bodies and the right genders. God doesn't make mistakes.

The last shoot involved a dress I made from newspaper. This was something I had never attempted before so it was very fun to get out of my comfort zone. This highlights stories about Chloe & stories from across the world of other detransitioners.

This project, that was meant to highlight the detriment of going through "gender-affirming care" as a child can cause horrible affects on a person for the rest of their life. It's one thing to have these lies sold to you as an adult, where you can hopefully take in all the information presented to you and hopefully make a well-informed decision based on the facts, but its another thing to have a child go through this treatment without knowing the real-life consequences. I like to refer to Scott Newgent's story when people say that adults don't regret their transition & there aren't any negative side effects/health problems to going through the process of attempting to transition form one gender to another. Allie Beth Stuckey, whom I have followed & listened to for quite some time, interviewed Scott, which I highly suggest you take a listen to.

After posting this project--that I am still so proud of--we received a plethora of hate for the project as well as hate for us. The death threats have been coming in strong and we've had to take precautions to protect ourselves. But one thing is for certain: I stand by this project. I stand by the biological facts that gender is binary, and no matter how many hormones you take and how much you do to alter your appearance through permanent surgery or temporary means, you will always be the gender you were born with. It breaks my heart to know that there are people out there that hate themselves so much that they would want to permanently alter their bodies. I stand with Chloe Cole.

Let kids be kids. Protect the tomboys. Don't shove false ideas down their throats.